Arabella Carey Adolfsson, a San Diego native, relocated to Sweden in search of a new adventure and a better quality of life, but she was unprepared for the profound quiet and isolation of her new home on the remote island of Torpön.
In 2022, after a serendipitous online listing, Adolfsson and her Swedish husband Stefan purchased a lakeside house on Torpön, moving in by October. The island, part of Lake Sommen, offers stunning natural beauty with clean air and no traffic, which she cherishes. However, its remoteness—at least a 30-minute drive to the nearest town—has led to significant culture shock. Days can pass without seeing anyone other than her husband, and making friends has proven difficult, especially coming from a large, close-knit family in California.
Adolfsson, who is Mexican American, finds the reserved nature of Swedish society challenging, contrasting with her own expressive Hispanic background. The lack of social interaction has been a hard adjustment, compounded by the language barrier; although she has taken Swedish classes, fluency remains a work in progress. To cope, she has embraced a ‘mental reset,’ adapting her mindset to the slower pace and using technology to maintain connections with family in the U.S., including weekly video calls with her grandchildren.
Despite the isolation, there are silver linings. Adolfsson appreciates the lower cost of living in Sweden compared to California, with free water from the lake and affordable healthcare—she was billed less than $100 for a five-day hospital stay. The reduced stress and opportunity for creativity have allowed her to travel extensively in Europe and work on projects like a children’s book. Yet, she misses conveniences like good Mexican food and finds the do-it-yourself culture in Sweden somewhat overwhelming.
Reflecting on the move, Adolfsson believes it would have been easier at a younger age, as change becomes more difficult with time. She advises others considering a similar relocation to ensure they have a connection to the place and understand that integration takes time, involving periods of loneliness. For now, she plans to remain in Sweden, visiting San Diego regularly and hoping to eventually persuade her husband to move back permanently. Her story highlights the complexities of expat life and the unexpected challenges that can accompany a search for a better life abroad.
