The recent death of South Korean author Baek Se-hee has brought renewed attention to her bestselling memoir, “I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki,” a work that has deeply resonated with readers for its candid exploration of mental health. Its title captures the universal struggle between despair and the comforting pull of life’s simple pleasures.
Baek Se-hee, who died at age 35 this week, was the author of this influential book, which originated from her therapy sessions for dysthymia and anxiety disorders. The memoir, first published in 2018, documents her conversations with a psychiatrist, delving into everyday issues like self-doubt, overthinking, and societal pressures. Its honest portrayal of mental health challenges struck a chord in South Korea and beyond, selling over a million copies worldwide and being translated into 25 languages. The book’s popularity has helped destigmatize mental health discussions and encouraged many to seek professional help.
The title, “I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki,” uses tteokbokki—a beloved Korean street food—as a metaphor for the small joys that sustain people during difficult times. Tteokbokki is more than just a snack; it represents comfort and nostalgia for many South Koreans, often evoking memories of school days or stressful work periods. This juxtaposition of existential despair with mundane desires highlights the human capacity to find hope in everyday moments, making the book relatable to a broad audience.
Baek’s death has been met with an outpouring of grief from readers who found solace in her words. Social media and blogs have been flooded with tributes, sharing personal stories of how the book provided comfort and understanding. The Korean Organ Donation Agency confirmed that Baek saved five lives through organ donation, emphasizing her commitment to helping others even in death. Her legacy is not only in her writing but also in her altruistic final act.
In South Korea, where mental health issues are often stigmatized due to cultural values emphasizing success and conformity, Baek’s book offered a refreshing perspective. It challenged the notion that social achievement is the sole measure of a worthwhile life, instead promoting self-acceptance and emotional awareness. Young people, in particular, have embraced its message, as they navigate intense competition in education and careers amid rising mental health concerns.
The book’s impact extends globally, with significant sales in countries like the UK, where it sold 100,000 copies within six months of release. It has broadened the appeal of Korean literature, often associated with K-pop and dramas, by addressing universal themes of vulnerability and resilience. Figures like RM of BTS have endorsed the book, further amplifying its reach and reinforcing its messages of self-love and mental well-being.
Baek Se-hee’s work demonstrates that literature can be a powerful tool for empathy and connection, transcending cultural boundaries. Her memoir continues to inspire readers to acknowledge their struggles and find strength in vulnerability. As the world mourns her loss, “I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki” remains a testament to the idea that even in darkness, the desire for life’s simple pleasures can be a guiding light.